


What Happens If You Find Her?

by CeleryCube_StackableTomatoes



Category: Spring Awakening - Sheik/Sater
Genre: Andy Hanschen, Austin Melchior, Canon Era, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Krysta-LOLO Ilse, Post-Canon, Priapia, cause im indecisive look wise, moritz and wendla are dead
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-17
Updated: 2019-11-23
Packaged: 2021-02-07 13:42:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21458977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CeleryCube_StackableTomatoes/pseuds/CeleryCube_StackableTomatoes
Summary: It had almost been a year, yet everyone was still haunted and the wounds felt fresh. In an attempt to cheer Melchior up, Hanschen accidentally influences him to head off to Priapria on his own. He can't be serious."What happens if you find her?"..."What happens if you don't?"
Relationships: Ilse Neumann & Hanschen Rilow, Melchior Gabor & Hanschen Rilow, Melchior Gabor/Ilse Neumann
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> [Trigger warnings?]

Hanschen lay there, nose buried in the book he was reading. His peaceful afternoon was interrupted by the awful screeching that his door made when opened slowly. “Mom, I told you, I’m not interested.” He huffed without looking up from his book. When that didn’t elicit a response, he took an actual minute to think about the situation. _ Everyone else who lived with him was at church._ His heart dropped, as did his book, and his eyes met with the figure standing at the door.

“Melchior?” He asked, confused yet relieved that it wasn’t… a murderer or something. The boy in question just sat there, hands on the door and gaze drifting off into space. He looked numb, conflicted. “What the fuck are you doing here? You scared me,” Hans raised an eyebrow, “How did you get in here?” After a few more seconds of silence, Hanschen was starting to get concerned. He set his book down and got out of bed, walking towards Melchior. He put his hand to the other’s forehead, feeling for a fever. There was none, but he looked pale. So, he grasped Melchior’s hand and walked him over to his bedside.

“Hold on right here, okay?” Hans forced a smile when Melchior nodded and sat down. ‘He can respond to me, but he’s choosing not to…” After he got out of the room, out of earshot, he let out a heavy sigh. _ What the fuck?? _ Honestly, who did he think he was, just showing up here, out of the blue. They hadn’t talked in months! All of this ran through his mind as he put a kettle of water on the stove, starting up some tea. He wasn’t an _asshole_. If Melchior was going to show up at his house in an obviously lacking state of mind, he was going to help him out but this wasn’t how he’d imagined his Sunday going.

When he thought the tea was ready, he placed it on the dining room table. He wandered back to his room, standing in the doorway. “Have you eaten anything, Gabor?” Just as he’d expected, Melchior didn’t answer. Hanschen sighed again. “You know, if my parents come home _from church _and find a boy in my bed,” He let his words dwindle in the air and shook his head with a smile. “I don’t think that would go over well. Also, I’m making you a late breakfast. Or lunch, whatever.” He stuck around, hoping that this would be the time Melchior spoke up. But he didn’t. Now Hanschen had to stick to his word.

Thirty minutes later, Hanschen sat sipping tea at the dining table. He didn’t physically care for people often. He didn’t generally care for people. Period. His siblings seemed to be the only exception to his cold-heartedness. But his experience with dealing with Thea’s episodes and the prior sightings of Melchior’s unwillingness to function were telling Hanschen that both of the boys needed to get their act together. Therefore, he brought the meal into his room and set it on his desk. No joking around. He pulled the pillow out from under Melchior’s head, causing the boy to open his eyes and furrow his brows. Hans propped the pillow against his headboard, pulling Melchior up and forcing him to sit up.

“What do you want?” He asked firmly. He was hoping for “food” or “drink” as an answer, but instead, he got-

‘I-L-S-E.’ Melchior signed.

“What?” Hanschen asked, a confused, forced smile on his lips.

And so Melchior repeated. ‘I-L-S-E,”

“I don’t understand.”

“Ilse.”

“And? What about her?” He was trying his best not to show how annoyed he was, but it seemed to get harder every time he asked a question.

Melchior went silent again. Hanschen ran his hand through his hair, looking back at the food. “Yeah, ok. Ilse. I miss her too?” What even was this conversation? _ Oh yeah. It isn’t one._ He thought sourly to himself. Hanschen picked up the plate and held it out to Melchior, who then lightly tried to push it away without flinging it.

“I’m going to find her.”

“Yeah? Do you know where she is?” He continued trying to give Melchior the plate. He took it, only to shake his head in response and place the food on the other side of him.

Hanschen looked down in thought, reaching over the taller boy and grabbing the plate _again_. “First off, eat this or I’m going to slap you. If you didn’t want it, you should’ve told me not to make it. Secondly, the last time I saw her was when you sent her that letter.” He made sure to keep it light, not wanting the memories to flood back.

“Do… do you know where she ended up afterward?”

“At the funeral, she said she’d been staying in Priapia. Maybe she, went back?”

“The artist’s colony?”

“Yeah.”

“Do I go there?”

Hanschen sighed, “I, I can’t be the decision-maker for you. It’s not _morally _right for me to tell you to go. You’re in a bad place right now and I—“

“—She could be _dead. _If I don’t even try to look for her,” He began, but Hans wasn’t in the mood to hear any suicidal threats. The air was already hanging heavy. 

“Melchior.” He interrupted firmly. “Eat your food.”

“I’m nauseous. I can’t stop thinking about her, for days, she’s the only thing that’s been on my mind,” He was beginning to panic, stressing Hanschen out as well. “I’m going to find her, Hanschen, please help me. I know we don’t exactly get along, but you two were best friends, and I need-- I,”

“Please, if you’d wait just a minute,”

“I can’t, I can’t!”

Hanschen had tried to get his word in for a minute now, but it was relentless. He would have to physically show him. Hopefully, his parents hadn’t thrown out this week’s newspaper.


	2. Chapter 2

The paper clipping was in his hand as he stood above Melchior, profusely apologizing. When Hanschen left to find the newspaper, Melchior hid behind his door to try and isolate himself during his anxiety attack. When he returned, he’d smacked Melchior in the face with the door.

“Read this.” He urged, trying to use his free hand to pry Melchior’s hand from his nose. Instead of panicking harder, getting hit in the face had seemed to ground him. “Please, I’m sorry for hitting you, but you’ll really like this.”

In a minute, Melchior took the paper and Hanschen sat down next to him.

“Gustav Baum has the honor to announce that he will give two grand openings of… My God!” His eyes lit up, and he turned to look at Hans. “Like an art show? For the artists, in Priapia?”

“Yeah.”

“That name is familiar.”

“It’s the artist Ilse was staying with, I think.”

“Oh my God!! Is she going to be there?”

“Well, I’d hope so.” He looked at the paper again. His face dropped. “Oh no.”

“What?” Melchior demanded.

“The first was like, last month and the next one is on Wednesday. A school day.”

“Are you kidding me?” Melchior let out a bitter laugh. “Fuck school! I would sit through _ every _church session during Yuletide, the entire festive season, the High Holy days, if it got me to see Ilse.”

Hanschen shook his head, “You’re loony. Don’t expect me to come on this adventure with you.”

“I don’t, and I won’t. Because I know you’re a _coward._ If I needed someone to come with me, I’m sure I can find someone. Go ahead, go to school Wednesday. I hope you enjoy having nothing different, exciting, in your life, your equations and papers--”

“--You enjoy those as well! You’re a rakefire. Get out of my house, Melchior.”

“Oh! Gladly!” He snapped, standing up. He stomped out, closing Hanschen’s door behind him. Before the bad feeling could settle in Hanschen’s stomach, Melchior opened the door and walked back in with his hand open. “Give me the clipping.”

There was no stopping Melchior now, so Hanschen reluctantly handed it over. “You’re going too far.”

“You were the one who let me get like this, I wouldn’t be going anywhere if you hadn’t shown me it.”

He just rolled his eyes in response. “See you after school tomorrow. I’m telling the others about this.”

“Do whatever you want. I’m not going out of my way to take the path you all go home on.”

“What happens if you find her?” They paused. “What happens if you don’t? Think about it, I’m begging you.”

“Not if, but when. And, I have three days. I’ll be fine.” 

Just like that, he left.

“I am an _ awful _ influence.” He said to the silence as he shook his head. 


End file.
